8 bloggers share their tips on staying positive despite the challenges of chronic illness

Photography credit: Paige Marie
Photography credit: Paige Marie via Unsplash

Having a chronic illness is a tough gig. There are days when the constant pain and fatigue (not to even mention the other symptoms) will get us down. It’s important to express our emotions and it’s totally understandable that we will have days where we are filled with sadness. We are only human after all.

However, if we wallow in our own misery we create more suffering and that’s why it’s important to be able to pick ourselves back up again. Positivity is not a cure, but keeping a positive outlook is a powerful coping mechanism for living with chronic illness.

There are times, though, when staying positive can be a challenge in itself. Today I am therefore sharing tips on staying positive despite the challenges of chronic illness. Not only will I be sharing my own thoughts but also some fantastic tips and advice from my fellow chronic illness bloggers.

This is a long post, filled with wonderful advice so you may want to bookmark it (or pin the pin at the bottom of the post) so that you can read it at your own pace.

My advice on staying positive despite the challenges of chronic illness…

Staying positive when living with chronic illnessAlthough I like the overall vibe of my blog to be positive and uplifting, I certainly do not look at chronic illness through rose-tinted glasses. Some days are incredibly difficult and I have cried enough tears over the years to know this only too well. However, I also know that I don’t want to be defined by my illness and that I want to live my life as well as I possibly can in spite of my health challenges. A big part of that for me has been learning to see the world differently.

I believe the most powerful thing that we can realise for ourselves is the power of choice. One thing I always say is that we don’t get a choice in the cards we are dealt in life, but we do get a choice in how we react to what happens to us.

If you stay stuck focussing on the hardships and the negatives, it only creates more suffering. Although it’s simple to say, I appreciate that changing how you think is far from being easy. Rewiring your brain and thought processes takes a conscious effort and it is something I have to continually work at.

I practise gratitude regularly, I remind myself to lower my expectations of myself and I have redefined what success means to me. I also now appreciate the small things in life and I celebrate my small accomplishments. Doing all of this has helped me to find joy where I didn’t even know it existed.

I also became mindful of my own thoughts. You need to be conscious of what you are telling yourself and become aware of any self-hate and negativity. This is what causes so much of our suffering and most of the time what we tell ourselves is grossly unfair. Always ask yourself, “Would I say this to a friend?” It’s also helpful to question, “What is the flip side of this situation?”

Chances are you would never say the words you tell yourself to anyone else and when you look at the other side of the coin, there are generally positives to be found. Here’s an example. Perhaps you are always hard on yourself for having to spend days in bed following an activity.

You could spend the day telling yourself that you are a failure and focus on how terrible life is or you could instead choose to focus on the flip side; that you are awesome for managing to do all that you did the previous day despite your health challenges.

I know that it sucks that we have to pay for what we do but it’s about learning to find peace with your situation and accepting that the choices we make have consequences. Personally, if I know I can’t handle the consequence then I pass on the activity.

I remind myself that saying no is totally okay too; that pacing myself is a positive thing and I also hold onto the hope that maybe next time or at some point in the future I’ll be able to say yes. I have learned to be kind to myself because it’s tough enough having to say no in the first place.

Finally, I always remind myself that flare ups are temporary. However bad I feel, I remind myself that I will feel better again with time and rest. There is a quote about this that I really like, the gist of it being that your success rate for getting through the difficult days so far is 100%. That’s pretty damn awesome and good odds for getting through any that you face in the future. Always remember that you’ve got this!

Now I am going to hand over to some fantastic chronic illness bloggers who will share their own tips on staying positive despite the challenges of chronic illness.

Shelley from Chronic Mom

Shelley from Chronic Mom“I try to find the positive by living hopefully. Despite the fact that I sometimes get sad about my illness and despite the fact that sometimes I am angry, I still carry hope.

I don’t have a lot of hope that I will be cured, but I continue to hope for a good and joyful life. I continue to hope that I will find better ways to deal with my illness. I hope that I can have empathy for others because of what I have experienced. I hope I can learn from the amazing people I’ve gotten to know in the chronic illness community. I hope that I can still be the person I want to be despite my illness.

I refuse to spend the rest of my life in despair because of the pain I endure now and will probably always have to endure.  I focus on the fact that my life doesn’t have to end just because my body doesn’t work the way it should. I find hope in the idea that my life worth living. Hope is what keeps me going and keeps me fighting.  Even when I am at my sickest I always have hope for the potential of the future. Because life is beautiful, even when you’re in pain.”

Laura Chamberlain from Laura’s Pen

Laura from Laura's PenTurn your inner critic into your inner friend.

Adjusting to becoming chronically ill isn’t easy and something that often happens as part of that process is you start becoming very hard on yourself. Your inner voice berates you with insults, condemns you for your failures and constantly reminds you of what you cant do and what you should be able to do. You may think some of the things your inner critic tell you are true, but are they helpful? No.

But, you don’t have to just put up with your inner critic hurling abuse at you. You can train your inner voice to become your inner friend, and it makes living with a chronic illness so much easier.

The first step is to become aware of your inner voice. Tune into it, notice what its saying. If you notice it saying something horrible or unhelpful, then pause and think to yourself, “What would I say to a friend in my position?” Then tell yourself that.

It might be something like: “You know, you’ve had a really hard day and you’ve done all this and you should be proud.” Or :“Your well being is so much more important than your house being spotless, give yourself a break.” Or even just: “You’re going through a tough time, it’s okay, mistakes happen.”

If you practice this every time you notice your inner critic, you will feel much more positive and over time your inner friend will become the loudest voice of the two.”

Sarah from Sarah in Wonderland

Sarah from Sarah in Wonderland“When you’ve lived the chronic life for most of your life, you find pleasure in the smallest things. Staying positive whilst living with a chronic condition is never easy but I’ve found a few ways to put a smile on my face, cheer me up and stay positive.

I find focussing on something other than pain really beneficial, I do this by writing, either my blog or fiction. Anything that takes my mind elsewhere, consumes me, helps me escape. It’s a huge part of my life and has helped me cope with so many difficult situations.

Another thing I love to do is look at old photographs, even if I’m not in them, or wasn’t born when they were taken. I like to imagine the time, what was happening, why someone isn’t smiling – I think it’s the writer in me.

I especially like pictures of my Mum and Nan when they were growing up; I wish I’d have known them at that age. Also, pictures and videos of my nephew (they’re not so old as he’s only 3) always make my heart smile. I have so many on my phone and automatically open up a video of him giggling and everything else is forgotten about. I don’t see him as much as I’d like so always carrying my phone with his smile and laugh means I can take him everywhere.”

Donna from Fed Up With Fatigue

Donna from Fed Up With Fatigue“In my previous life before developing fibromyalgia, I had a typical high-strung type A personality, and I would let every little thing stress me out and upset me. One day, as I was stressing over something that had happened at work, I had a co-worker look at me and ask, ‘Did anyone die?’ Well, no, they hadn’t. His comment was his way of saying, ‘Take a breath. It’s not that big of a deal.’

Around that same time in my life, I read about this trick that’s helped me immensely. Whenever something I perceive as bad happens in my life, I try to stop, take a breath and ask myself, ‘Will this matter two days from now? Next week? A month from now? Next year?’

When looking at life’s annoyances and frustrations through the lens of those questions, you’d be surprised by just how few things actually have a long-lasting impact. Very little of what goes wrong in everyday life actually matters in the big scheme of things. Asking those questions during difficult situations helps me to keep things in perspective. It’s helped me become a reasonably calm person – far, far from the frazzled person I used to be.

When all else fails, I snuggle with my kitty Buddy, and he always makes me feel better. He brings me a lot of joy and comfort.”

Vicky from Living the Diagnosis

Vicky from Living the Diagnosis“Every day is a winding road”, the song written by Sheryl Crow was released in 1996, about the time I began having migraine headaches. Interestingly enough, this song has become my life mantra, regarding my headaches.

Sometimes it is hard to be happy when you have daily head pain. But, I have found I am a happier person when I find a way to be positive and find the good in the little things on my “good days”.

The easiest way to do this for me is to love All.The.Things. Love the little things, watching my children play, listening to their little laughs, looking at the beautiful things in nature, talking with my husband, mom, brother, dad and friends and finding something wonderful to relish in when my head is being nice to me! It helps me get through the hours and hours of pain I endure on the “bad days”.

Mandy from Bliss and Health

Mandy from Bliss and Health“Managing your illness and doctor appointments, combined with work, friends, significant others, children, pets, domestic chores, and whatever else life throws at you – it’s hard to keep your head on straight – let alone remain positive.

In the hustle and bustle of life coupled with having a chronic illness, you have a pass to be Debby Downer… sometimes. Being in the wrong frame of mind 24/7 isn’t doing you or your disease any favors. Ain’t nobody got time for that. So how do you keep positive? Remind yourself of these 3 tidbits to keep pressing on.

You’re In Control. 
You are the boss of you! If your health care team is underperforming, fire them. Are your friends not understanding? Make them (or find new ones!) Need support? There’s plenty of on and offline groups to join. Remember, you are in total control of the changes and choices you make.

There’s Always Someone Worse Than You.Whatever you are suffering from, SUCKS! But, there are 7.4 BILLION people in this world with their own shit going on. Everyone has their cross to bear, so think about someone else who has less fortunate circumstances. Parties are awesome, but pity was not invited.

Evaluate Your Perspective. “We can always choose to perceive things differently. We can focus on what’s wrong in our life, or we can focus on what’s right.”

Although it’s hard to sometimes take a step back from your disease, it’s important! Simple changes in your mindset can have a dramatic impact on your health. Your perspective directly affects your stress, which no doubt causes flares.”

Mandy offers a free PDF full of even more tips and advice. To get it sign up for her mailing list.

Julie Ryan from Counting My Spoons

Julie Ryan from Counting My Spoons“The primary way that I focus on staying positive despite chronic pain and illness is by focusing on the good days. It’s hard when I haven’t seen a good day in a while, but I do my best to remember that the good days will come.

Whether it’s thinking about upcoming plans that I know I will enjoy, or just knowing that “this too shall pass”. I know that everything is temporary and as terrible as the bad days may feel, it just means that things can only get better and they will.”

You can also read more from Julie on this topic here.

Do you agree? Would you add anything else? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

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Donna Grant

Hello, I'm Donna. I'm a Scottish artist who lives with chronic illness. My blog began in 2013 as a means for me to share and connect with others living with chronic illness. On my blog, I have shared my journey back to better health and the diagnoses I faced along the way. I now work as an artist and sell my products in my online shop. I continue to write about chronic illness on my blog and also share helpful posts about art, business and bullet journalling.

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10 Comments

  1. What a great post! So many good ideas in here on how to stay positive in the midst of daily struggle! Thank you for including me! Cheers! Have a wonderful weekend!

  2. Great stuff! I just read an article this morning that talked about giving your pain a name as a coping strategy. The gal in the article had named her pain Gertrude. It is supposed to separate the person from their pain and make it easier to cope. I’m going to give it a go as it sounds like my kind of thing. Trying to come up with a name, other than “You stupid a-hole”, is proving a challenge. 🙂 We’ll see what I come up with though and how it goes.

    1. Thank you Corah. I have a tenancy to talk about my fibro in the 3rd person. I like to separate it from myself. When I can’t do something, I blame the fibro, not myself. So I think that’s a really great strategy. Good luck!

  3. I’ve been sick for over 40 years and I have no idea what the hell I’m doing here. Its so easy to say ‘don’t worry, be happy’, but this is a very long time to be sick and that’s so easy to say. It would be helpful if I had family and friends, but I don’t. So I go through this alone. I think about suicide, but I’m an old lady now and it won’t be long before its over and everyone has forgotten my name. And so it is.

    1. Like I said above, it’s easy to say but very hard to do. I’m sorry to hear that you don’t have an immediate support network. I would say that I’ve found support where I didn’t expect it– online. Twitter especially is a brilliant place to meet people going through the same as you and there’s a lot to be said for speaking to people who “get it”. I would say that– as hard as it is– we are the only ones who can help ourselves. We’ve got to make the decision for ourselves that we want to change. The first step may be to find a compassionate doctor and tell them how you feel. Or if you don’t feel like you can speak to them please remember the Samaritans- http://www.samaritans.org
      http://www.samaritansusa.org

  4. Hi Donna,

    Thank you for bringing together such notable spoonies.

    It is very important for us to realise that we are not alone and feeling despondant is not going to help.

    Our attitude to our illness is what will make a positive difference to our lives. Think positive, we must all find a way to be positive.

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