Much as I did last year, I am foregoing resolutions this New Year. Instead, I am choosing a word of the year. This is where I choose a word that resonates with me and where I am in my life. And, it will help to guide me through the coming year. This year, I have chosen something that is admittedly work-in-progress for me.
My word of the year for 2018 is…
My word of the year for 2018 is patience. Patience is something that will undoubtedly help me in the coming months. But, it’s something that I am often lacking in. It’s hard to be patient. Especially when it comes to recovering from chronic illness.
How patience will help me in my recovery
Healing from Lyme Disease and Fibromyalgia is no easy task. It’s something that I have been slowly chipping away at for over three years now. Given how long I’ve been working towards getting better, you’d think I already have a healthy dose of patience. The truth is, I don’t.
I am so much better than I was three years ago (when I was pretty much bedbound). All my hard work is paying off. But, I still have a way to go to reach recovery/remission. I am hopeful that my treatment at Infusio, Frankfurt will get me there. However, it is not an overnight fix. It’s actually a year-long process.
I can be my own worst enemy at times
As I move forward in my recovery and get glimmers of improvement, I find myself wanting more. And, that desire to be better can often work against me. I get carried away. I do too much. I send myself backwards.
I’ve actually written about this before; about how trying too hard to get better can actually work against me. It’s a trap I fall into every now and again. And, I need to become more vigilant about stopping myself from doing so and practising patience.
I need to be patient. I have to appreciate that the small improvements need to be sustainable before reaching for more. I have to allow myself the time I need to recover.
Patience will help more than my health
Patience will help me greatly when it comes to my health. But, there are other areas of my life where it will help me too. I keep putting mental pressure on myself about things I ‘should‘ be able to do. And, should is such a problematic word in this context.
Here’s one example. I feel like I am not doing my best with this blog. For years now, I have been filled with ideas of how I would like to grow and expand it. I want to write more, spend more time on social media and eventually set up a shop.
I have so many ideas and it’s frustrating that I can’t yet bring them to reality. But, if I am patient, one day I will be able to. I need to stop berating myself about the fact I’m not doing those things yet. There is no rush.
Relying on support
Luckily for me, I have the best people around me supporting me. They are aware I struggle at times and remind me to be patient. They know my limits and can see when I am overdoing it. Their gentle reminders definitely help.
When I was chatting with my mum and asked her to guess my word of the year she was– unsurprisingly– spot on. It’s something she helps me with daily.
I hope 2018 will be a good year for me
I’m really hoping that 2018 will be my year. I know I have a roller coaster ride of ups and downs ahead of me (recovery with stem cells is no easy feat). But, I know that if I am patient healing will happen. So, here’s to a year of being patient and I am excited to see where it takes me.